Sirandmiss is a site for people on a journey to explore trauma-informed BDSM.
For those with trauma, BDSM can have healing aspects. BDSM is beneficial for some of the same reasons that yoga is beneficial. This includes breath work and rhythm and repetition. A large body of evidence shows how valuable breath work can be in helping depression, anxiety, and regulating the nervous system. Similarly, rhythm and repetition can be grounding and provide a sense of safety and security.
In BDSM, individuals often focus on their breathing while they endure pain and other sensory play. Rhythm and repetition may be introduced through creating consistent rhythms in impact play or by having one of the participants count to a certain number while they do a certain task. It can be introduced in a lot of creative ways.
The most helpful benefit of BDSM may involve the nervous system window of tolerance. When someone experiences adversity, their nervous system’s window of tolerance decreases. This means that their nervous system activation fluctuates more quickly between hyperarousal or hypoarousal. Hyperarousal can lead to anxiety or overreactions. Hypoarousal can leave someone feeling rather numb or having minimal reactions.
Angie Gunn, a licensed social work and sex therapist, emphasizes that BDSM participants must be careful and listen to their own body while partaking in BDSM so that they can know when they are going too far past their window of tolerance. However, when undertaken with care, BDSM can also increase this window of tolerance by “pushing the edge” of tolerance and then bringing it back. For example, with impact play the dominant may switch between spanking or flogging and then gently rubbing the area that was just hit. The impact will cause a rise in arousal while the gentle rubbing or massage is soothing and relaxing.
Some therapists believe that BDSM allows people to heal through a physical “embodiment of trauma” that is not accessible in talk therapy. BDSM can help people feel how their body reacts to stress in trauma and give them the opportunity to feel more familiar with the uncomfortable sensations or even to control them.
Another reason that BDSM may be beneficial is due to the use of after care. After care is the time after play where partners or participants check in with each other and take care of each other. Aftercare is associated with a type of trauma response called quiescent immobility. This is a period of time after arousal that stimulates healing and rest. Aftercare is an essential part of BDSM that leads to comfort and trust. Oxytocin, the neurotransmitter associated with bonding, is released during aftercare.
https://prostasia.org/blog/bdsm-can-help-heal-from-trauma/